Acceptance
by Anuradha Parmar
“We should indeed keep calm in the face of difference, and live our lives in a state of inclusion and wonder at the diversity of humanity.”
— George Takei
Ages come and go, timeless people come and go. But, the primary fight for inclusion keeps showing up in different forms. Why is it so hard to accept “that” section of society? What made our people form a different community to fight for their lives? Let us know.
WHAT IS THIS COMMUNITY?
Explained below are the terms we have all heard about, but our minds are still trying to get a hold of it:
WHY PRIDE MONTH?
“We need, in every community, a group of angelic troublemakers.”
-– Bayard Rustin
It all started in New York when on June 28, 1969, Stonewall Inn, a popular gathering place for young members of the LGBTQ community was raided by the police. This wasn’t the first police raid; but this was the first spark that boiled the constant suppression the members had been facing. Riots continued which continued for almost a week and gave birth to what we know as “Pride Month” today.
ROPING IN THE INDIAN SCRIPTURES
One can find mentions in the Hindu scriptures of the popular Shikhandi in the fierce Mahabharata or Sri Ardhanarisvara (The amalgamation of Siva and Parvati). Coming to the Mughal dynasty, The Akbarnama describes eunuch Niamat who stops Akbar’s foster-brother Adham Khan from entering the grand *harem. These are only a few examples, but they show the mighty presence of the LGBTQ+ community members in the Indian past.
SO, WHERE DID WE GO WRONG?
Some blame the frequent colonisation, especially the British colonisation, which did not accept the idea of inclusivity. Our culture got heavily damaged with the onset of adaptations from other countries, which we may have forgotten to rebuild. It was only after a rigorous fight that Section 377 which criminalised homosexuality was scrapped out finally in 2018.
The fight is still not over yet. The community members still face social stigma, legal loopholes, few professional opportunities, etc. to be named amongst few.
BUT, WHY THE FIGHT
“Equality means more than passing laws. The struggle is really won in the hearts and minds of the community, where it really counts.”
– Barbara Gittings
We live in a society where it takes a great deal to accept oneself wholeheartedly. And this is just a quarter of the actual struggle. Because, when one reveals one’s acceptance to society, all the pre-acceptance fears take the shape of reality. The fear of #conversion therapies, sexual exploitation, mental harassment, and family abandonment are just the tip of an iceberg. Not to mention, the long years invested to get out of the trauma, starting lives from scratch, and the constant process of proving one’s identity.
Is there a need to fight, one may ask? If one gives it a thought, a lot of the struggle would vanish with a single wand.
THE WAND OF ACCEPTANCE.
What little you can do?
· Be an ally
Provide yourself with enough awareness about the community and their rights
· Be supportive;
Carrying a rainbow badge or anything that represents your backing of the community
· Do not assume pronouns;
Asking always works better; one may start using pronouns for oneself
· When someone comes out, hear them out because they trust you that much;
Trust yourself that you can do better
· Calling in and calling out;
Call in your close ones when they blurt out anything inappropriate; call out in public where you witness an unaccommodating act
Reading this has just made you start. Keep going!
*harem: the separate part of a Muslim household reserved for wives and female servants
#conversion therapies: Counseling, spiritual interventions, hormonal treatment etc., in the hope to change a person’s sexual orientation
Book recommendations/Books referred to for this discussion:
1. Cobalt Blue by Sachin Kundalkar
2. Crier’s War by Nina Varela
3. Last Night At The Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo
References:
Snippets from our discussion “Celebrating Pride” held by Dr. Surabhi Mitra
Wikipedia
Britannica
Homosexuality, Hinduism and the Third Gender by The Gay & Lesbian Vaishnava Association (GALVA)
